Memoria de mis putas tristes (Quotation)

“I have not done anything except write, but I don’t possess the vocations or talent of a narrator, have no knowledge at all of the laws of dramatic composition, and if I have embarked upon this enterprise it is because I trust in the light  shed by how much I have read in my life.  In plain language, I am the end of the line, without merit or brilliance, who have nothing to leave his descendants if not for the events I am prepared to recount, to the best of my ability, in these memories of my great love.”

“I discovered that my obsession for having each right thing in the right place, each subject at the right time, ech word at the right style, was not the well deserved reward of an ordered mind but just the opposite: a complete system of pretense invented by me to hide the disorder of my nature.  I discovered that I am not disciplined out of virtue but as a reaction to my negligence, that I appear generous in order to conceal my meanness, that I pass myself off as prudent because I am evil minded, that I am conciliatory in order not to succumb to my repressed rage,  that I am punctual only to hide how little I care about other people’s time.”

“Inspiration gives no warnings.”

                                                                                                                                                                  —–Gabriel Garcia Marquez,

                                                                                                                                                            Memories of my Melancholy Whores      

heart of the matter

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
–Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Random Thoughts

To be honest, i don’t know how to begin with this one so let’s just get on with the title.  Let me start by saying that it’s a lot more easy to say something and not mean it than to mean something and not say it. 

Its my first time to travel out of the country alone and i would like to mention some of the best and worst memories i had during my April 7-14 Singapore trip. 

First, nobody knew that I was detained in a police station for an hour. This really sounds funny now that i’m writing it but during that time, it was a bit shocking and unforgetable.  For the story, Pam and I were planning to go on swimming in Sentosa when we decided that its better to drop by Bishan first so we could ask some directions to his guy friend. Guess what, we got lost. And during the time that we were looking for that damn apartment, we passed by the police station.  Out of sheer ignorance coupled with naivity and curiousity, i attempted to take a picture of the building.  Guess what, it was prohibited.  *Chuckles* Of course, you already know what happended next.  The police officers were far from furious but they were suspicious as expected.  By detained, i mean just an interrogation.  They just looked at the camera’s content, inquired about my identification (thank God i brought my passport with me that time or it would be a grave offense for a tourist) and just made some phone calls to verify that we were not terrorist or something. Harhar, this was lesson number one. Read the signs to avoid something stupid.  When we went home in Yishun, it became a common joke for us. I only fully absorbed what had happened when we were allowed to go.  Its good that people Pam’s boyfriend did not overreacted, in fact he made some plans for us to forgot the incident by inviting to play tennis and letting me wander or play around like a child using his newly bought bicycle.

Second, i love how Pam and I catched up with our life stories and recalling how people change or how time and distance can separate or join friends.  I love the honest comments that I got from her, the confrontation, the frankness, the naughty,silly topics that we brused aside. I love hearing updates from her about  common friends, enemies, acquaintances, other-friend’s-boyfriends and more. In short, i missed the long talks and not to mention the buzz.  I do know that when it comes to personal matters of the heart, there are things that are better left unsaid.  

Third, i want to give credit for Pam’s thoughfulness in involving the household and shelling out money for my despedida party.  Her seafood fettuccini was sumptuous and delighting.  I knew how much effort was made to cook that especially because we were really tired that night and she sacrificed an hour or two of her very valued 10-hour-sleep. Hehe!    

Aside from the new places that we visited, new food that i wonderfully consumed and new culture that I learned along the tour, i am more astounded by how the said countries’ system and progress is a reflection of good governance and effective fiscal management.    Boy, how i yearned to witness and apply the same cutting-edge technology and discipline among our people and in our native land. The people have equal access to good public transporation, high job employment rating, 80% of the people own an HDB (Housing Dev’t Board), insurance and health care…its so ideal and livable!

Lastly, i think that its a great learning experience to work there. I actually would like to convince Pam to return and reconsider her decision to be an expat. Honestly, right now i just plan to fulfill the scholarly obligation to serve by penetrating into the grassroot level of society but i am considering to come back.   

And I will.

I will come back and be healed.  I will come back to be gone a little longer. But not now, not now.

Sweet Rendezvous

Introducing Thyrone–the smartest kid i met in Naia on my departure day. Of course, there’s some inserted pictures of Kuya Kim.      

Who is the Real You

This is from an archive article I read in Cleo magazine (Singapore), November 2007 issue. In a study conducted by  anthropologist and author Helen Fisher ,  she started looking into why people fall in love with one type of person rather than another. After an extensive study of thousands of people from 17 countries, she came up with an answer: Four Personality Types– The Builder, The Negotiator, the Director and the Explorer. All these types are affected by a high level of one particular chemical in the brain. Here’s the gist:

You’re a Builder…

When you’re influenced by serotonin–a feel good chemical associated with hapiness, sociability and feelings of calm.

You are conscientious, loyal, managerial, outgoing and dependable.

At work, you’re great at managing people and knowing what needs to be done to get results.

With friends, you’re usually the centre of the friendship group plus you’re loyal and dependable.

In love, you’re a good match for unpredictable and spontaneous people. You bring stability into their lives.

Best match with the explorer.

You’re a Negotiator …

When you’re influenced by estrogen– a female hormone associated with emotion, intuition and creativity.

You are selfless, imaginative, sympathetic, socially skilled, flexible, verbal and idealistic.

At work, you’re articulte and great at dealing with everyone. Solid people skills mean you excel in team environments. A negotiator’s downfall in the workplace is that they’re so keen to please everyone that they end up saying yes to everything, and often load themselves up with far too much work and as a result, burn themselves out.

 With friends, you’re the go-to person.

In love, you want nothing less than a soulmate.

Best match, good with all types.

You’re a Director…

When you’re influenced by testosterone– a male hormone associated with rational thinking, energy and strength.

You are analytical, focused, daring, logical, direct and goal-oriented.

At work, directors are very often the boss, or at least on the fast track there.  You’re ability to be logical and rational gives you a really good business mind.

With friends, it’s a matter of quality and not quantity for you.  Directors have high standards and expect much from their friends.

In love, your high standards get even more intense. Directors need someone to balance them out and quite often the flexibility of the negotiator is the perfect antidote.

Best match with the negotiator.

You’re an explorer…

When you’re influenced by dopamine– a “pleasure” chemical, which is assosiated with the feelings of curiousity and spontaneity.

You are a risk-taker, impulsive, curious, adaptable and optimistic.

At work, you may jump from job to job, because you get bored easily and hate rules. However, explorers love a challenge and when they find the right environment, then they’ll excel.

With friends, you’re the life of the party.  An explorer’s boredom threshold is easily tested in the social envirorment and you need lots of interesting people to hang out with. But even though everyone loves your company, you often prefer being alone and having your own space.

In love, your energy and optimism can be contagious and people like you, but as with work and friends, you get bored with potential partners. 

Best match with the Builder.

People can be a mixed bag of the four personality types, but generally there’s one that truly shines.   Hope you find this a ”fairly enlightening experience.”

Vicissitudes

   Displaying varied human emotions, we knew that our friendship has it’s own version of  vicissitudes. She is my friend now working in Singapore.  We intend to spend more time together. And with her company, I am considering to clinch the deal in staying longer. Albeit, we both know that my visit is transient and I would have to leave soon. I’ll miss this time. *wink*