OBSCURITY

“Life is no straight and easy corridor along which we travel free and unhampered, but a maze of passages, through which we must seek our way, lost and confused, now and again checked in  a blind alley.  

But always, if we have faith, a door will open for us, not perhaps one that we ourselves would ever have thought of, but one that will ultimately prove good  for us.”  A.J. Cronin

I was babbling to my sister the other night that it’s about time I move on to a new cheese station when she answered ‘’okay wait, tell me first what book is it that you’re reading now?”  To my utter amazement, I didn’t quite expected nor anticipated that she was observing me for the past days.  And its true, I’ve been going home late, sleeping early and waking up at 11:00 in the afternoon.  Its becoming a routine my system is adapting to.  From 11:00 pm until early morning, I could not get myself to sleep (talk about separation anxiety i guess) so I find some interesting ways to use my time like watching hollywood films or rereading books. Surely, I underestimated her capacity to understand what I’m going through.  So I shared her the famous ” Who Moved My Cheese?” authored by Dr. Spencer Johnson.  And we did end up enjoying a meaningful conversation over dinner the following day.

I won’t discuss the book in here alright (so as not to spoil the essence of finding your own version of the cheese or realizing who among the characters you are most likely to relate to) but I do have some reflections of my own.  See, i just did it.  No but seriously, talking about my decision to resign made me overanalize and complicate things further.  The main concern that I have is whether or not there is readily an advancement for me, whatsoever.  Not that I do depend on it but it is a main part of my consideration.  And whether this advancement will benefit me alone or other people around me (celebrate if that’s the case), i need to know if it’s real, or attainable within my timetable.  So because I’m still uncertain of where my decision would lead me, I just pray that I would get over my fears and take the first step to take is to boldly–with a pure solid-decision and no turing back–courageously give the letter formally stating the desire to quit.  I wanted to part ways in good terms so I’m trying to find the right timing (if there is such a thing).

…. (story to be continued when I have time)