URGENCY AND IMPORTANCE

Sigh.

It is hard to imagine that one day, i’ll be in a position where I have to regret my future decision to resign from my present job.  It goes without saying that there must have been some really good justification for wanting to do so. 

I have two on the list, being:

First, I deemed it important for my personal development. By this I mean that I get to explore a different side of my potentials other than staying in the office.  I will get to interact with more people and learn new stuff the actual way.  I can bask in the sun and grow in my connections and skills.  I can practice self-reliance because that means I have to commute for four hours every weekend just to get to my destination. I can get the real picture of service and altruism by working closely with people in the grassroot level.  I’m sure to gain self-fulfillment along the way.  I can live closer to nature.  I can practice what we have been learning in the graduate school.  I can apply my communication skills which is my undergraduate degree. I can have a better chance of leading an office in a lesser time.  I can make use of my civil service eligibilty.  I can become more familiar with my parents’ home province. I can relate more to their values and traditions.  I may learn to speak the language more fluently. I will have a better appreciation of my heritage. And,I may also manage to attract a few troubles and commit mistakes but it will still be part of my growth.

Finally, it is a matter of urgency and importance.  How so?  A simple and precise explaination would be because this is the year before the election ban.  In 2009, there will be freeze hiring in the government.  If I must do it, then I must do it now.  Transition is good at this time of the year.  And why is it important, it is matter-of-factly because a 46 percent increase in the basic pay of government employees was approved by PGMA and will take effect in July of 2009.  And as my sister said, it will be one hell-of-a-job that nobody else can do like I can.  So, taking into consideration that my youngest sister is entering college in June, I know that it will help ebb financial issues in the family. Plus, because I know that I am at most dispensible in any workplace, the thought lingers that maybe it is still more secure to work holding a civil-service, plantilla position in the government. 

So, this is how I convince myself.  I just pray that I’ll have the same idealism when I’m in the real world.  A political actor in the arena of a bloated bureaucracy.  I wonder how I myself would fare? Notwithstanding, I am not immune in the human nature to be tempted– to compromise some principles.  Whatever that means.  I also fear that one day, I might find myself becoming the person that I so readily despise.  (I talk in riddles).  Nah, i’m just saying that don’t want to end up being young and corrupt.

Well, so much for my futuristic predictions.  I think that the dread of tendering my resignation is taking the nerve out of me.  So i’ll just see.